Radiating Joy and Creating Magic in Every Moment: In Tribute to Tova Feldstein:
Words are inadequate to capture the depth of shock and sadness we are all experiencing. It is unfathomable and so tragic. Michael, Sharon, Yosef, Hilary - we are heartbroken and pray that Hashem offers you comfort and strength in the days ahead. To lose a child, a sibling is beyond disbelief. We are with you each step of the way. Tova was an incredible soul and spirit whose radiance and joy drew people to her and I know I speak for everyone here that we were all impacted by her and are part of your extended family. We are all touched by Tova, who was the kindest and warmest person.
One of the deepest and strongest parts of her family were her soul sisters at Jumpstart. Tova’s love for them and their love for her was extraordinary. A number of them shared their thoughts with me about Tova and I want to share some of them with you.
Dana - Tova lit up a room of any size, whether the JumpStart room at the JCC, a wedding hall, a basketball stadium, or the stands at the US Open. Tova had the energy of the Energizer Bunny, always ready for an adventure in the snow, a trip to Dairy Queen, a drive to Mohegan Sun, or just going down the road to dance to her favorite DJ. Tova was always eager to learn more, stretch outside her comfort zone, and push her boundaries. Tova touched so many lives with her positivity, laughter, and warm heart, both adults and countless children alike. There are no words to express how much Tova will be missed every single day. Rest peacefully, Dear Tova. May your memory forever be a blessing to all of us who were lucky enough to have you in our lives for much too short a time.
Larissa - I recently met Tova this past September when I joined the Jumpstart stamford team. She was one of the first people on the team to greet me with a big smile. She welcomed me with kind words and a genuine spirit. During my first week there, she randomly asked me, "What's your favorite color? Well, actually what's your favorite two colors? I mean, like what colors do you like in your house?" And for the life of me I could not figure out why the answers to those questions were important to her. Then, a few days later, she excitedly gave me a home crafted bottle wrapped in yarn of the two favorite colors I told her I loved. "It's a vase for your home!" This kind gesture stood out to me because I mean, who does that these days? Who takes the time and effort to make something so thoughtful for essentially, a stranger!
You know who? Tova did! One last memory I have of Tova in the classroom at the end of the day will be of her playing Miley Cyrus new song "flowers" and saying how much she loved it as she danced all around the classroom. I am very saddened by her sudden passing and I will keep her in my heart forever. May she rest in peace.
Nancy - Tova is the first person I remember meeting when I started playing music at JumpStart. I was new to playing for the special needs pre-school population, and Tova used to just stare at me, which made me very nervous. Eventually, she became the person who could help inspire a new song, or guide the class in a certain direction. She was always helpful with ideas and for keeping the class upbeat and spirited!. She became my friend and someone I really looked forward to seeing and spending time with.
Just the other day, she came to see me perform. She knew about the gig for months and kept promising she would come. She arrived early and made me feel excited to play. She hung out with my two daughters. She sang along. She shared the performance on social media so that our other JumpStart friends could be a part of it too, and she posted pictures of us. She was encouraging and she made me feel special. And on the day she passed, we exchanged a hug and an "I Love You" with each other and I will always treasure that.
Tova, "Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing is gonna be alright". I will miss you forever. I love you
Cindy - I worked with Tova at Jumpstart for eight years. You will undoubtedly hear countless stories about her so I’ll keep this brief. Tova had the most generous, loving, joyful soul. She was caring and funny and gave the BEST hugs, but the best things about Tova were
1) her rare talent to not only share in other people’s joy, but to amplify it exponentially and
2) how she always loved purely and unconditionally, with her whole heart.
I was lucky to be on the receiving end of her hugs and love and am heartbroken that I’ll never be able to hug her or laugh with her again.
Hannah - Tova was one of a kind! A few words that come to mind when I think of Tova! Sincere, genuine, kind, love, fun and nuturing. Tova knew how to make everyone’s day shine even when it was a bad day. You couldn’t help but smile when you saw Tova smile. My favorite thing about Tova was her ability to live life to the fullest! She would drop everything to go do something adventurous or fun! She loved being with people yet she enjoyed doing things she loved. My favorite memory of Tova was when I first started working at jumpstart and she invited me to a paint n sip. I was new and she made me feel like I knew her for years. She was warm and bubbly and made me comfortable. Her ability to do this with everyone was a gift. My favorite thing was watching Tova work with her students. She had a true gift of teaching her students learn connections and to just have fun! Her circle times were magic. Seeing the children laugh and Dance with Tova was amazing to watch. She was my sunshine and Joy at work. When I had a bad day she would always cheer me up by either making a joke, buying me a coffee or just Simply listening. I would instantly always feel better. I will live my life knowing Tova is right by my side dancing with me and laughing our hearts out. Her soul will live on forever and I know everyone she touched feels the same way! My heart is broken but I know she is watching over all of us guiding us to enjoy life like she did. I love you Tova!!
Keona - Tova was the kind of person that once you met her once, you’ve earned a friend for life. Every holiday, every birthday , every anniversary , New job, ANYTHING you would hear from tova. No matter how far you’ve moved, she will find a way to contact you whether it’s Facebook,WhatsApp, whatever she has to do. To say she was my friend wouldn’t quite describe how close we were. She was my soul sister, no matter the environment tovas personality and love would make everyone know her and remember her. On the worst days, working with tova would make you forget why you were even mad. Between her interesting questions or her playful banter you wouldn’t leave feeling like you did when you came in. Tova took so many pictures and we’ve always asked her why and I found a quote that said… take alot of pictures sometimes it’s the ONLY memory you’ll have. I sent the quote to tova, she said it every single time someone refused a picture ( so we always said yes) I’m telling you that there will never be another person like tova. So at this moment, I’ll say I’m soooo happy she would insist on taking pictures every single time we seen each other. I have a picture for EVERYTIME I’m I’m thinking about her, or anytime I see a sunset (tova loves the sunset) or a sunrise ( tova loves sunrises) or when a random butterfly passes me and I’m instantly reminded of how much tova loves butterflies. I’ll never forget how tova loved bubbles more than our kids at jumpstart, or how circle time with the kids would be a concert for tova she would bring instruments and really start dancing…and forget her kid was even there. Her favorite song was “ don’t worry about a thing, everything’s gonna be alright” and I can’t help to think yes we are in pain, yes we don’t know how well go another day without her, I know she would want us to celebrate her and never forget that everything’s going to be alright. Tovas middle name meant goodness and that’s all she brought to this world. I love you
Bernadette - I loved Tova with all my heart. She was not only a best friend, she was also another daughter to me. She brought joy to everyone she met. She made me laugh, dance and smile every day. She was silly, fun and full of love. She knew the meaning of life and celebrated every moment. A lesson to be learned by all of us. She knew the meaning while we are all still looking for it. May we all find peace because we were blessed to know her. I will love her forever. I will always be grateful our last words to each other were, “I love you”
Jane, director of Jumpstart and Sue McGraw, who founded Jumpstart and was an angel in Tova’s life serving as mentor, believing in her and helping her grow ot her fullest potential- Tova was a bright light, and she was the longest serving member of the JumpStart team, having joined Suzanne McGraw 17 years ago as a joyful, curious, playful teacher. That never wavered, she continued to blossom in JumpStart as a young woman and experienced special education teacher. She shared her talents and gifts, with love and laughter, with all the children and adults that were fortunate enough to spend time with her. Most especially, Tova was incredible at circle time. She channeled all the Sue-ism she had learned and added her jovial flair. Songs were sung, and when she stumbled over the lyrics or forgot the tunes, she would adlib, all the while laughing at herself and relishing the enjoyment of us laughing with her. She was creative and understood how to make a child laugh and how to encourage them to enjoy a toy they had not seen before. Her special lens as a teacher was unique, as she retained the innocent delight in everyday activities that most of us forget. She loved watching the sun rise and would share the numerous photos with the team. She especially loved being with the children. Even though she would have liked to have been a mother of her own, she was a mom to many. The only words that spring to mind when remembering Tova are those that represent friendship, fun, smiles, and love. She shared her love in so many ways with a text on birthdays, special dates, holidays, and thoughtful gifts that she had made. She was always giving others her time. She
had recently started baking and had become a very accomplished baker who relished sharing her treats with the team. She was always ready to giggle with us, or give a hug, provide a massage, and provide comfort if she saw we needed it as she cared with all her heart. Tova embodied all that JumpStart is and will continue to be. Her name means good. Going forward circle time in JumpStart will now be referred to as Tova time (good time). As that is what she always tried to have and provide for all those who were lucky enough to encounter her beaming smile, lovely giggle, and laughter. She gave love and a testament to this was her JumpStart family being with her at her bedside saying goodbye and surrounding her with love. She will continue to shine in our classroom through the memories we share and the Tova times that will channel her spirit.
I want to close with an idea that welled in my heart this morning about Tova. The Talmud has a strange debate about whether the world was worth creating given the evil that exists. The houses of Shammai and Hillel argued about it and finally concluded Noach Lo Ladam Shelo Nivra Yoter Meshevira. It would have been better had humanity not been created then created. Their conclusion at first blush seems depressing and maddening. Yet, a careful examination of the words reveals much hope. The Ishbitzer Rebbe notes that the word used is Noach Lo LeAadam and Not Tov Lo LeAdam. The Rabbis conclude that if a person remains passive in life Noach, it is better for them not to have been created. However, if a person realizes that he or she was created for the purpose to bring goodness into the world, that it is Tov, for sure we are worthy of creation.
I believe and I think we would all concur that our Tova understood her Divine purpose in spades. Rarely does such a young person find the magic in every moment, and the eternal light in a sunrise or sunset. Her perpetual youthful spirit reminds all of us that you can find joy in the simplest of things, a truth we too often forget, and in the words of the poet William Blake that infinity is in the palm of our hands. When Tova was born, you, MIchael and Sharon were divinely inspired to name her Tova Gittel, reflecting the essence of her Neshama, her soul. Goodness through and through with a heart as endless as an ocean. We all pine for her to be physically alive at this moment. Yet, you can take comfort in knowing that she lived her life radiating her essence. We so wish she was blessed with length of years but she did merit the greatest of accolades - she was blessed with length of days. She did her utmost to make the most of every minute, every friendship, unlocking the joy and song of life, with hugs and loving unconditionally with her whole heart. She lived her life knowing the world is being recreated every day, and every breath is a gift, a moment once to be seized.
Tova’s soul will live in all of us forever. I would like to ask everyone for a few seconds, to close your eyes and think of Tova smile, a Tova memory, and affirm in our heart that you will carry her spirit forward. Imagine if we all channel a bit more of Tova in our lives, our radically different the w2orld would be. God willing, Michael, Sharon, Yosef, Hillary and the family will experience comfort and Tova’s soul will be a living inspiration and beacon for all of us for many many years to come.